


Is That Jealousy?

by literaryoblivion



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [124]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Jealousy, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 05:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8150296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryoblivion/pseuds/literaryoblivion
Summary: After a little help and advice from Bitty, Ransom realizes that the reason he was so upset and angry about knowing Holster was making out with a guy, is because he's jealous and not because he's worried he'll lose his best friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt I received on tumblr that reads as: "holsom + misunderstandings and/or jealousy :)"
> 
> The tumblr post for the story can be found [ here](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com/post/151017734863/holsom-misunderstandings-andor-jealousy).
> 
> I've never written this pairing, so I gave it my best shot. It's loosely based on [this post](http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/straight-guy-worries-hes-homophobic-gay-roommate-ends-falling-love/). It takes place during Bitty's 2nd semester of sophomore year just before he and Jack stop being dummies (which there's some background Jack/Bitty a little, but I feel like that's just canon so I didn't tag it).

Logically, Ransom knows he has nothing to worry about. There’s no reason why Holster would lie to him. They just don’t do that to each other. Ever.

And yet….

It all started when Holster canceled on their usual bro date of beer and MarioKart. He claimed he had a group project he had to work on and that time was the only time his group could meet. Ransom believes him because Holster’s told him about his group and how lame they are, and he totally understands.

Instead he hangs out with Bitty and Jack and Shitty, and he and Shitty eye each other, silently communicating how Jack needs to get his shit together and ask Bitty out because Bitty is not subtle about his feelings for him. It’s fun though and when Holster doesn’t get home until after he was already in bed, Ransom was too drunk and kind of passed out to notice.

Ransom figures they’ll hang out the next day, but Holster gives him the same excuse. He’s decidedly disappointed because he kind of needs his daily Holster fix to stay sane, but it’s not a big deal really. They share a room in the same house and see each other almost all the time anyway, so it’s fine.

Except that when Hols doesn’t come home, Ransom is… worried.

Yeah, that’s what he is. He’s totally worried. What if something bad happened? What if his group went insane and kidnapped him and told him he had to do all the work before they let him go. Ransom can’t sleep at all and as it gets closer and closer to daylight, his mind thinks of impossible dangerous scenarios that Hols might have gotten himself into.

Finally at 5:30 in the morning, Holster is quietly pushing open their door and tiptoeing in, but Ransom is already out of his bed before Hols can even shut the door behind him.

“Dude! Are you alright?!” Ransom whisper shouts, flipping his desk lamp on so he can properly see Hols and check him for injuries.

And then freezes when he sees Hols. His hair is a mess, this shirt he’s wearing is definitely not his, and there are very visible bruises on his neck.

“Uh, hey,” Hols says. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you or wake you up.”

“Uh, I was up late studying, so it’s fine,” Rans lies, not sure what else to say.

Hols nods. “We should try to get a little sleep then before practice in a few hours. Jack’ll kill us if we’re dead on our feet.”

“Right, yeah. Good thinkin’,” Rans says, already turning away to crawl back in his bed. He doesn’t even bother turning off the light because he can’t look at the state that Hols is in anymore. He squeezes his eyes shut as he listens to Hols move around the room, turn off the light and climb into his own bed.

As much as he tries, Rans can’t fall asleep though. All he can think about is Holster’s disheveled appearance, how he clearly was making out or more with someone and Rans has no idea who. He and Holster share everything with each other and the fact that Holster has lied to him about what he was doing, who he was doing. Like it’s not just a little thing to not share. It’s huge, and Rans is upset and hurt and a little betrayed.

Did Holster think Ransom wouldn’t be able to handle it? Did he think that he’d be mad about it? 

There’s another feeling bubbling inside him though besides the hurt about Holster lying to him about this though. And he’s not quite sure what it is.

~

When their alarm goes off in a couple hours, Ransom is still awake, had maybe dozed 15 minutes while he waited for Holster. He’s exhausted and still upset, but he tries to hide it when he goes downstairs. The only person downstairs is Bitty who is cooking breakfast for everyone.

“Hi, hon,” Bitty says without turning around. “I’m almost done with this first batch of eggs, and then you can dish–” Bitty turns and immediately stops talking when he sees Ransom. “Good lord, are you alright? Are you sick?” Bitty says, setting the pan of eggs aside and rushing over to Ransom.

He must look like a mess if Bitty is fussing over him already with just one look. He thinks he can handle practice if he can get some coffee, but with how Bitty is acting, maybe he won’t.

  
“No, Bitty, I’m fine, I just… was up late. Studying.”

Bitty narrows his eyes at him, hands on his hips. “Don’t lie to me Rans, I know for a fact you went to bed before even I did.”

Rans grimaces. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Bitty bites his lip and and stares at him. “You were waiting for Holster.” He says it as a statement not a question, but Ransom still nods in response. Bitty moves to usher Ransom into a seat at the kitchen table and then pulls one up next to him.

“Did he… did he not come home? Should we–”

“No, he’s here. He’s,” Ransom laughs to himself, “he’s in the shower, probably washing off the guy he slept with.” He knows Bitty can hear the bitterness in his voice when he says it, but he’s too tired to care.

“Oh, Rans, honey,” Bitty starts but doesn’t finish his sentence because someone else, one of the frogs, walks in from the front door. It’s Chowder, but when he walks into the kitchen and sees both Bitty and Rans huddled together, he backs out and goes into the living room and turns on the TV.

“I’ll be fine, Bits, I just am upset he lied to me about it, but it’s like more than that? I don’t know I can’t figure it out.” He looks up at Bitty, who’s giving him a look of understanding and pity.

Bitty considers him for a moment and then nods, standing from his seat. “I really don’t think you’re up for practice today. In fact,” Bitty says, voice getting louder, “I think you might be getting a fever.”

Ransom stares at Bitty confused. “Bits, I’m fine, I–”

“No, Ransom, I insist you stay home and rest. You’ll feel a lot better. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jack and everyone else not to expect you. Our next game isn’t until next week, you can miss a practice.” Bitty leans in, “You can sleep in my room if you’re more comfortable, sweetie. And we can finish our conversation later after you’ve had some rest, okay?”

He continues to stare at Bitty, his confusion melting to relief and adoration. Bitty is pretty awesome, and he’s so grateful for him. “Yeah, okay,” he says, “You’re right.” He stands up from his seat, and Bitty gives him a big hug. “I’ll save some food for you to eat when you wake up, alright?”

Ransom nods and then trudges back up the stairs, redirecting to Bitty’s room instead of his shared one with Holster. He knows he could probably go to his own bed, but the idea of possibly running into Holtz while he’s up there and trying to pretend he’s sick like Bitty had suggested, makes Ransom decide to take Bitty up on his offer.

Bitty’s door is open, and his room is rather tidy unlike his own. He shuts the door behind him and throws himself on the bed to crash. He can hear the others venturing downstairs, the other frogs coming in and helping themselves to the breakfast Bitty is making for them before practice. He ignores when he hears his name by a few of them asking where he is, trusting that Bitty will tell them to leave him alone and make excuses for him. He tries to focus on his breathing and nothing else, and eventually it’s enough to help him fall asleep.

~

He wakes to Bitty setting a plate with a sandwich and some chips on it down on the night stand. He blearily rubs his eyes and mumbles out a thanks so Bitty knows he’s up. Bitty smiles down at him and says,

“I’ll be right back with something for you to drink, too.” Then he’s gone again disappearing out of the room.

Ransom sits up against the headboard, trying to make himself more awake. He feels so much better than he did earlier, but it was still a restless sleep, his mind buzzing enough to keep him from really sleeping. When Bitty comes back in and quietly shuts the door behind him, he’s got a mug of coffee in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“I wasn’t sure which you’d want more of,” Bitty says with a shrug and sets both down on the nightstand by the plate. Ransom grabs the mug first, and Bitty smiles as he sits on the edge of his bed, facing Ransom. “So, do you want to talk about it?” Bitty asks while Ransom reaches for the plate.

Ransom looks over to the door, sees that it’s shut and locked, and shrugs. “I probably should,” he says around a bite of his sandwich.

Bitty moves so he’s sitting fully on the bed, cross-legged in front of Ransom. He patiently waits while Ransom takes a few chips and a couple bites from his sandwich, and when Ransom’s eyes glance up, Bitty is giving him a warm smile, like he’d be happy to sit and wait all day if that’s how long it took.

After half the sandwich is gone and the mug of coffee is devoid of its liquid, Ransom finally clears his throat and sets his dishes aside.

“So, uh, thanks, for covering for me and letting me crash in your room, and the food,” Ransom says gesturing to what’s left of his meal.

“Of course, sweetie! Anytime. Besides, you didn’t miss much, just the usual drills and things. Although…” Bitty hesitates and scrunches his face like he’s not sure whether or not to say what he’s about to say. “Your presence was missed of course, and… Holster looked a little lost without you on the ice.”

Ransom sighs and runs his hands over his face. Part of him is glad to hear that Holster at least acted like he missed him at practice because lately it seems like he hasn’t missed him the rest of the time. But, then he realizes that doesn’t help the team very much to have one member out and then another fumbling around, and then he feels guilty.

“You ready to talk about it, or should I go bake another pie?” Bitty asks, a slight hint of teasing in his voice.

“Another?”

“You’ve been asleep for a while, hon. Everyone’s already had lunch, and I’ve already made two pies.”

Ransom laughs at that. They both sit quietly for a moment, and Ransom figures, as patient as Bitty is, he needs to get this out now. The sooner he does it, the faster they can get back on track as a team and as friends. “I don’t… I don’t know, Bitty. I just… I’m so confused, and then when I start to think about it, I get upset and angry, and I just don’t understand why?”

“How about we start from the beginning? Fill me in on what happened because I’m not sure I know.”

With a nod, Ransom starts, telling Bitty about the excuses Holster has been giving him about being away or coming home late, and how it wasn’t a problem until Ransom realized they’d been a lie because he’d been hooking up or dating someone.

“I just.. I don’t understand why I feel this way, Bits? Like, he’s hooked up with random girls before, and I’ve been like happy for him, proud almost. But, this time… the lying and then, god, I can’t stop trying to figure out which guy it was. I don’t know what’s…” He freezes, eyes wide as he looks up at Bitty. “Oh my god, am I homophobic?”

Bitty is biting his lip, like he’s trying to keep from laughing. “Honey, calm down, I really don’t think that’s it.”

“What else could it be? I mean with other girls it’s been fine, but now that it’s a guy, I’m so uncomfortable.”

Bitty gives him a fond look. “Sweetie, you know I’m gay, right?”

“Yeah,” Ransom says like it’s not a big deal and he’s not quite seeing where Bitty’s going with this.

“Are you uncomfortable with me? Does the thought of me bringing home a guy or making out with him, gross you out?”

“Dude, no! Of course not! Bitty, you know I wouldn’t think that, hell, Hols and I set you up for screw.”

Bitty nods. “You did. So… if you don’t feel that way about me, then I’m pretty sure you’re not homophobic.”

Rans furrows his brow. “Then what else could it be?”

Slowly, Bitty scoots closer to him on the bed and takes his hand. “Have you thought that maybe the feeling you’re feeling is jealousy?”

Ransom scrunches his lips while he thinks and shrugs. “Like because it’s cutting into our bro-time?”

Bitty tilts his head slightly. “Partly? Do you think that’s why you feel this way because you feel like you’re losing your best friend?”

He thinks about it a moment and the thing is he doesn’t think that’s it. He doesn’t feel like he’s lost him as a friend. It’s something else. “No. I mean, it’s part of it, but I’m not a very good friend if I can’t be happy he’s found someone right?”

“Is it because of who he’s found?”

“I don’t know who he is though? I mean I’ve tried to figure it out. I spent all night thinking about who it could be and then I would picture them and my stomach was in knots and I couldn’t sleep–”

“Okay, okay, honey. Calm down.” Bitty pauses, biting his lip. “I’m going to throw this out there and feel free to disagree, but… as a third party observer who cares about you both very much, this is my interpretation.”

Ransom waves his hand for Bitty to continue because really he can’t figure it out and he doesn’t like this feeling and wants it to go away.

Nodding, Bitty continues, “To me, it kind of sounds a little like you’re jealous?” Rans balks and opens his mouth to protest, but Bitty holds his hand up to stop him. “Before, when Holster had been with girls, you didn’t have a problem because you’re not a girl and therefore there wasn’t any competition, so to speak, to be jealous of. But, now, there’s another guy in the picture, and you’re feeling jealousy because the guy is not you and you could have a chance.”

Ransom stares at their joined hands, completely stunned, trying to absorb what Bitty’s just said. Is that what he’s feeling? That sickening, stomach-churning feeling that’s made him unable to sleep is jealousy? Because he doesn’t want Ransom to be dating a guy? Because he doesn’t want Ransom to be dating someone that’s not him?

“Have you… have you thought about Holster that way? Romantically?” Bitty asks, voice soft like he’s talking to a scared fawn.

“I don’t… I mean, I love him. He’s my bro. We do everything together; we have each other’s backs, you know?”

Bitty nods. “Is that all?”

“I guess not? I’ve had the stray thought of what it’d be like to kiss him or for us to share a bed, but I was drunk or high, and it wasn’t…” His head snaps up and he stares at Bitty, his face much like it was when he thought he was homophobic.

“God, Bitty, am I in love with Hoster?”

Bitty smiles and shakes his head. “I knew we’d get there eventually.”

“Oh my god, I’m jealous. I’m jealous because I love Holtz,” he says on an exhale, like he still can’t quite believe the words he’s saying. “But, Bitty, what do I do?”

With a sigh and a pat on his hand, Bitty stands from his bed. “I think you should probably tell Holster how you feel.”

Immediately, Ransom shakes his head. “I can’t do that. What if it ruins everything? What if it makes him hate me and not want to be friends? What if he quits the team?!”

Bitty stares down at him with his hands on his hips like he’s a crazy person. “Rans, I highly doubt that will happen, and I think it’ll ruin your friendship more to keep this from him. Think about how much it’s already upset you by him keeping the fact he went out with someone from you.”

“But what if he doesn’t like me that way?” Ransom says in a whisper.

After a few moments he can feel the bed dip again and this time Bitty is sitting right in front of him, one leg hanging off the edge. “If that happens, then we’ll work through it and I’ll help you, I promise. Lord knows I have plenty of experience in that department.” Bitty lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “I do think this is something you should tell him. You’re best friends and this is a big enough thing that it shouldn’t be kept secret. And whatever happens after, I’m here for you. I have your back, okay?”

Ransom nods and before Bitty even gets the chance to stand up, he pulls Bitty into a hug. “Thanks, Bits.”

Bitty gives him a squeeze and a pat on the back. “You’re welcome, sweetie.” They both pull away a little teary eyed, but neither comment on it.

They both clear their throats, and Ransom lets Bitty pull him up from the bed and he watches while Bitty gathers up his dirty dishes. He makes a motion for them, so that Bitty will give them to him to take care of, but Bitty shakes his head with a little grin.

“Last time I checked, I think Holtz was studying in his room. Maybe you should see how he’s doing?”

Wow, Bitty isn’t subtle at all. Rans rolls his eyes but it’s with fondness that he’s sure Bitty can interpret. He follows Bitty out of the room and watches him make his way down the stairs, leaving him in the hallway alone.

The Haus is eerily quiet, although he can hear the soft sounds of someone watching a game or reviewing tape downstairs. It’s one of those rare quiet afternoons where they don’t have a game or are traveling and there’s not finals or midterms, just usual papers and homework, so everyone’s taken to their own corners of the Haus to spend the little bit of free-time they have as they please. It’s peaceful, or else it would be if Ransom didn’t feel like his heart was beating out of his chest and he makes his way to his shared room with Holster.

When he finally gets to his closed door, he leans in and can make out the tinny sounds of music coming from Holster’s laptop speakers. He can’t tell what kind of music, but if he is studying like Bitty had said, it’s probably something soft like classical or jazz. It’s not his favorite, but he says it helps him retain the information better so he listens to it without fail whenever he has school-related work to do.

As quietly as he can, he pushes the door open, but it still creaks and when he looks up, Holtz is staring at him, watching him come in and shut the door behind him.

“Uh, sorry if I interrupted,” Rans says, tilting his head up to indicate the open book on Holster’s desk.

“I was taking a break, so it’s fine,” Holtz says with a wave of his hand.

It’s the first time Holtz has spoken to him all day, and god, Bitty was right. He does have it bad that just the sound of Holster’s voice eases something in his chest.

“We should… I think we should talk,” Ransom finally says, taking a seat on the edge of his bed, facing Holster. It puts them a good three feet away, a safe comfortable distance, but Holster’s desk chair has wheels, so he could always close that gap. Part of Ransom wishes he would, but he pushes the thought aside knowing he has to get this out now while it’s on his mind and he’s not too chicken-shit to do it.

“Are you feeling better?” Hols asks, a little hesitance, and he does move a little closer to Rans, not by much though. He’s turned so he’s fully facing him though, which is good but also a little nerve-wracking.

“Yeah, I… that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, actually?”

Hols furrows his brow. “What are you contagious or something? Do I need to bunk with–”

“No, that’s not it. I just–” He sighs. “I need to tell you something, but just let me get it out before you say anything?”

Holls’s face is open and earnest and a little concerned, but he nods. “Okay.”

“I…” And he stops not sure where to start or how to say this. It’s not like he rehearsed it or anything and all Bitty had said was tell him how you feel, which was not helpful in terms of wording. Whatever. He can do this.

Ransom clears his throat, stares down at the floor because he cannot do this if he’s looking at Holster. “I wasn’t really sick, I was just really tired, and I needed some sleep, so Bitty covered for me and let me crash in his room.”

Without even looking he can already tell Holster has his mouth open like he’s going to ask something, but he continues so Hols doesn’t get a chance. “I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep and last night I didn’t really sleep at all because… because I was worried about you, about where you were. And then, when you finally came home and I realized where you were and what you were probably doing, I was too upset to sleep.

“It took a nap and talking to Bitty to realize why I was so upset.” He pauses trying to figure out if he should just say it and get it over with or go against Bitty’s advice and make up something else and not say the real reason for his distress.

“Why were you upset?” Hols asks, and he’s suddenly much closer to Ransom than before, sitting so their knees are almost touching. How did that happen? “Rans? Tell me, please?” Hols’s voice is soft like he’s talking to a baby deer he doesn’t want to scare off.

Slowly, mustering all the effort he can to force himself to do it, Rans finally looks up at Holster. He can tell his eyes are shiny with unshed tears, and he hopes to the hockey gods he doesn’t start crying.

“I was jealous. I was jealous of this total stranger for making you look like that, for keeping you out all night, for being with you and making out with your or whatever, because it wasn’t me. Because I wanted it to be me so badly. Because I… I’m in love with you.”

Hols doesn’t react, at least not from what Ransom can tell. His eyes widen a little at the admission, but Holster doesn’t open his mouth to say a word.

“Look, it’s… I get it if you don’t feel the same. If it makes you uncomfortable or whatever, I can move out or something, we can figure something out. I just thought you should at least know how I feel. Bitty said it might make things worse if I didn’t say anything.”

Finally, finally, Holster nods. It sounds like he says “wow” but it’s not loud enough for Ransom to distinguish, or at least he doesn’t think he’s supposed to have heard it. “Bitty was right, I’m glad you told me. I… I’m sorry for my actions, for not telling you. The thing is… I, um, I was kind of keeping something for you too, and I was hoping it’d go away or I could move on. Which, I realize now, that was stupid and I only made things worse.”

Ransom looks at him, confused. “What?”

“The truth is, I’ve been in love with you, for a while now. I just… I didn’t want to ruin things if I told you, so I tried to move on, which is why I went out with that guy last night. But I… I couldn’t go through with it.”

“That shirt wasn’t yours,” Ransom says because that’s the first thing that comes out, mainly because his mind can’t comprehend the fact that Hols just told him he loved him too.

With a wince, Hols nods. “Yes. I mean, we made out, but he wanted more and all I could think about was you and I panicked and grabbed the first shirt I saw and ran home. I was kind of drunk though and turns out he lived pretty far away, which is why it took me so long to get back. I’m sorry for keeping you up.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Holster sighs. “I know.”

“You should have called me, I would have gotten you. I would have picked you up and made sure you made it back.”

“I know.” They both sit in silence, neither of them looking at the other.

“You love me?” Ransom finally says, smile evident in his voice as he looks across at Holster.

Holster’s lips quirk up in a half smile and he finally tilts his head up to meet Ransom’s gaze. “Yeah. Like a lot, dude.”

“Come here,” Ransom says, pulling on Holster’s wrist until he falls out of his chair and into his arms. It doesn’t take long before their lips find each other and they’re kissing as if they’ve been doing it for years.

After a little while, their lips red and swollen, they part and lay wrapped around each other on Ransom’s bed. “So, Bitty helped you figure it out?” Holster asks, eyes focused on his own fingers as he draws random patterns into Ransom’s chest with his fingertip.

“Yeah. Although, he acted like he knew already and was just trying to get me there myself.”

Hols hums. “He’s a smart kid, although not when he comes to himself. You think he’s ever going to figure out how much Jack likes him?”

“No clue. I’ll let him get there on his own though. What I do know is we’re going to get chirped by him so much,” Ransom groans.

Holster laughs and pulls Ransom in for another kiss. “Worth it,” Holster whispers against Ransom’s lips before continuing their kiss.

And really, Ransom couldn’t agree more.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [my tumblr](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com) or [my twitter](http://twitter.com/lit_oblivion).


End file.
